" For if when we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life. " Romans 5:10 NKJV

The already and the not yet-- I feel the tension when writing those words, but strangely at the same time, I am also filled with hope of now as well as of the hope of what is soon to come. I am trying to picture myself as one of the twelve, or more appropriately Mary or Martha as I try to grasp this Holy Week as it took place over two thousand years ago. What they were going to be witnessing was going to be overwhelming, to say the least. After all, their friend whom they came to know and adore as a healer, a servant, their Lord, their Savior, and their King would no longer be in their physical presence. Five days prior, He would be praised as the sacrificial lamb by being ushered through the gates of Jerusalem by people waving palm branches. However, five days later, on the way to Calvary, He would be jeered at, beaten, betrayed, mocked, spat at, and made to carry His own cross by the very same people who had just praised Him. However, willingly, He did so. I for one, cherish my close relationships with people. If I were sitting across the table from Jesus at what would be His Last Supper, I would be sad, angry, confused, anxious, and to be honest, a little hurt listening to the conversation that would be taking place. Even though God had been preparing their hearts for this moment and they knew the time was coming, I am not sure they fully grasped the full reality of it all until the very week it happened. I cannot help but think of Jesus in the death of His friend Lazarus. Even though He could raise His friend from the dead, He still wept because of His humanity and that He was sad. I believe just like us, He felt that separation from the human loss of losing a close friend.
If I were one of the disciples, I would want to know why someone so blameless would take on flesh in human form as a baby and come down to this earth and dwell with us only to later die sacrificially for us. Jesus knew that He would be separated from His Father in the garden and on the cross, but because he was also human it would be important to note, upon being that He would also feel that separation just like we as humans can oftentimes feel when we too are separated from God. However, He still trusted in His Father and committed His Spirit. We, too can trust in His Spirit. Even when it is hard. Even when we cannot get past our sin. He makes a way because He is The Way. I would love to know what is so special about us that He would do such a thing. Why does He love us so? I do not think we will fully know these answers on this side of Heaven. However, we just need to believe with faith that He wants to have a relationship with us and that He wants us to know Him as our Lord. Even the criminal who was hanging next to Jesus having nothing of any value fit for a King recognized Him as Lord and asked Jesus to remember him in Paradise. It was because he recognized Jesus and called Him Lord, that Jesus would then remember him. It is easy for us as Christians to feel like we need to be perfect, have everything together, know all the things, and show Him how good and smart we are. While it is important and good to do God's best, this is not the way. He wants us to come to Him with a humble open-handed and open-hearted mindset. It is here in this mindset that He can be God Almighty in our lives and do His greatest work in us. While we long to fully understand the depth of His love for us while we are yet still on this earth, we must remember that It is by His grace that we are saved through His death on the cross. It is because of this reality we must bask in His goodness and His mercy now and what is to come while we are currently in the already. After all, it is finished, we are now complete in Him, and the best is yet to come. However, we have to wait until that day comes when we will bask in His presence fully. Sadly, it is just not yet.
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